i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
