k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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