In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
