Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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