Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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