I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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