peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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