We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
