Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
