oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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