what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
