i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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