i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, beer. Big fan.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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