Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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