My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
