She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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