Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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