I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
