If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
