Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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