Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
