yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
two words...techno handjob
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
