Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
