is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
