it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
