Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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