i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
