Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
