4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
