I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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