I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i drank out of a bidet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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