Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize