I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize