put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
