I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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