Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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