Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
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Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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