So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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