I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
