So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
