i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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