Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
