Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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