cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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