Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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