I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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