are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?