I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize