I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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