So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
