Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
