escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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