im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize