got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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