Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
